You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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