I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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