real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize