Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
