i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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