Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
