Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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