Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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