Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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