Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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