I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
