He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
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It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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