I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
dude. I can hear the air.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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