the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
