Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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