If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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