As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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