that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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