yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
