Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
