my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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