So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
