Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
