what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
