Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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