Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
