just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
