i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
false alarm, still single
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