we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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