yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
