Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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