just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
