I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
