I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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