new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
zippers are such a cool invention
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize