woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
