dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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