after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
