I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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