my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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