after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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