I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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