When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
