I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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