Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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