Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
