Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
