I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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