You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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