my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
