So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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