Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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