God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
