Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
