The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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