Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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