the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I could fuck to npr.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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