Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
