I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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