For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm really busy with my period
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