so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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