i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.