So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary