I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.