Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it

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(847) 4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/qjg2

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

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(203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p

Replies (64) Good night (759) Bad night (3690)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

bonus

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(501): So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked. (1-501): bonus http://tfl.nu/029j

Replies (20) Good night (4312) Bad night (620)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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(865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2

Replies (13) Good night (1673) Bad night (4472)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth

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(520): I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth http://tfl.nu/4taz

Replies (13) Good night (1341) Bad night (4216)
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(516): View more from New York

I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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(516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn

Replies (5) Good night (2451) Bad night (2014)
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(585): View more from New York

any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

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(585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3

Replies (16) Good night (6017) Bad night (1173)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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(804): i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive http://tfl.nu/za3r

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(858): View more from California

She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.

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(858): She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/gw51

Replies (10) Good night (3558) Bad night (1236)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.

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(720): You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck. http://tfl.nu/hy5d

Replies (3) Good night (1838) Bad night (686)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.

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(712): Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader. http://tfl.nu/60hc

Replies (1) Good night (1631) Bad night (549)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.

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(563): I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took. http://tfl.nu/2cez

Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (543)
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(716): View more from New York

Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?

(716): View more from New York

If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love

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(716): Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you? (716): If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love http://tfl.nu/boug

Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (460)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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(580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o

Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (392)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.

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(602): Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry. http://tfl.nu/s7rw

Replies (4) Good night (425) Bad night (890)

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