My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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