Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

(503): View more from Oregon

You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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(949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo

Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (1065)
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(812): View more from Indiana

How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?

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(812): How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt? http://tfl.nu/qj8s

Replies (46) Good night (5490) Bad night (1363)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.

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(612): all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high. http://tfl.nu/s4fq

Replies (33) Good night (6302) Bad night (842)
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(315): View more from New York

She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...

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(315): She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this... http://tfl.nu/h8y9

Replies (50) Good night (12252) Bad night (1641)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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(413): Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking. http://tfl.nu/aegx

Replies (11) Good night (963) Bad night (2600)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.

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(609): You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line. http://tfl.nu/s6mt

Replies (27) Good night (2794) Bad night (1800)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.

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(765): I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday. http://tfl.nu/lb5a

Replies (5) Good night (1921) Bad night (584)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again

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(506): When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again http://tfl.nu/dbq2

Replies (7) Good night (2036) Bad night (678)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.

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(931): Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned. http://tfl.nu/a2rg

Replies (14) Good night (2113) Bad night (494)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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(321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci

Replies (4) Good night (1266) Bad night (453)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?

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(702): Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid? http://tfl.nu/2txb

Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (1082)
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(416): View more from Toronto

How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?

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(416): How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard? http://tfl.nu/770q

Replies (15) Good night (813) Bad night (667)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker

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(703): The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker http://tfl.nu/7qsu

Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (355)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner

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(717): sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner http://tfl.nu/onjq

Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (246)
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(469): View more from Texas

I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

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(469): I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. http://tfl.nu/da4u

Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (178)

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