when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
