Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
