im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
