And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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