he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is it penis luge time yet?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
