I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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